Anti - Dr Laura Part One

As promised, I am starting my anti-Dr Laura et al. series. Because of an appalling conversation I had on Liberal Avenger a while back, I'm starting with the pro-life debate.

On LA there was a debate over abortion. I asked a conservative commenter what he would do if his 13 year old daughter was brutally raped and beaten and because of this became pregnant. His answer was to help his daughter raise her child as best he could.
Another commenter on the same thread, made mention of "pro-abortion". I don't know a single soul who is pro-abortion. I do know several pro-choice types.

The year was 1985. I was 23 with a two year old son. In 1981 I married a sweet man. We were in the Navy together, he was a flight instructor and I was a bail-out instructor. He was gentile and compassionate, or so I thought. So, in 1985, I divorced a mean, cruel, abusive man. I took my two year old, he took everything else. We have not seen nor heard from him since. I was left penniless, pregnant, with a two year old and with no job.

Due to my ex-husbands severe drug abuse, my doctor told me that my unborn child had a "slim and none chance of being born normal and even slimmer chance of being born alive." She recommended an abortion.

Being four weeks pregnant, I had a little time to mull this over. It was heartbreaking. My son stood in front of the window for hours looking for daddy. Could I bring a needy child into my home when I already had one who needed me so much? Was it fair to the unborn to give him a life of pain and suffering because of it's parents sins? How could I even begin to pay for his medical bills?

The only things I had going for me at that time was the house I lived in was owned by my parents. I wasn't afraid of being thrown out. My family, who are very supportive and I knew they would help me as much as they could. My parents, especially my dad was getting up there in age, but I knew they'd be there.

My dad and I talked this over. I knew what he wanted me to do, but he never came out and said it.

I felt like I was in this long dark tunnel and there was no light at either end. What had I done? I certainly could not provide for one child, let alone two. As much as I knew my family was there, I felt completely alone. I was scared, afraid for both of my children, so afraid that I had nothing to offer them, just a poor life filled with struggles and poverty.

My Doctors appointment was the following week. I remember walking in and sitting across from this large imposing woman's desk. I felt so small in comparison. I knew what she was almost insisting that I do. I sat straight. I told her what I was going to do. She must have just stared at me for a good five minutes before she let out this long breath. "All right then," she said, pushing her glasses up from the tip of her thick nose, "I'll set up the blood work for you." She pulled a pad over to her and started doing the doctor scribble.

My youngest son was born in April of 1986 weighing in at a whopping 8lbs 12ozs. He was born with a form of cystic fibrosis. A specialist at Albany Med told me he might live to be three, maybe four if I was lucky.

My baby is about to turn 21. He is an artist, an actor, a musician. He and his band have four cd's out and he alone, in his solo efforts, has two and is working on his third. On top of this, he is working a full time job, self supporting, and a college student.

I know, you think I must be an advocate for the pro-lifers. I am not. My life, my decisions, my private hell should be mine. Not everyone has the support or the family I have. Not everyone has my success story. We are not all the same, neither are our stories. Interestingly enough though, most of the pro-choice people I know, who were faced with my decision, chose to have the child. Most of the pro-life people I know, did not.

You chose what is best for you and your family. You decide what you can and cannot live with. You awake every morning and look into the mirror. THAT is who you answer to. Not me, not Dr Laura, and not the religious right.

As for the gentleman who would force his battered and raped child to have the baby and then raise it, I say this to you, don't protect your daughter and grandchild. That is your right. But don't you dare stop me from protecting mine.