Crossroads

Nope, I didn't get taken away in a paddy wagon headed for Gitmo. I didn't drop off the face of the Earth. I was, instead, abducted.

This good looking man comes into my office, hands me a cup of coffee and says, "Go for a ride with me."

Of course, I accept the coffee. The ride took a bit more prompting. I mean, there is a war to end, a good message to be spread, impeachments to demand, masks to remove from government officials, cities to help rebuild, much, much work to do. Right?

Needless to say, I went, partially kicking and screaming, but I did go. I am, now glad I did. We took a ride up to Flagstaff via Sedona and hiked Sunset Crater and the the surrounding Indian ruins. We then, headed up to the south rim of the Grand Canyon. We took long routes and stopped to see everything. The weather was beautiful and I must admit, it was a perfect idea. I got to clear my head and once again see the beauty in life that I used to see everyday.

My husband and I used to take long drives, maybe once a week, just so I could take some pictures and get inspired to paint. I haven't painted in three years.

During this road trip, I heard Rudys claim against Democrats and every imaginable fear tactic thrown out by the right.

I can not speak for anyone else, but as for me, I don't like being told what to think. I don't like being told to be afraid. I don't like being controlled with fear and threats of dirty bombs and evil doers. I don't.

Yes, 9/11 was horrific. It was terrifying and it tore a thread in our little fantasy of being above such things. But think about this:

Every year, we also lose millions of Americans to preventable accidents and disease. We're more likely to die on the road than as a result of Al Qaeda's machinations. Annually, we lose some 43,000 people to auto accidents. For the grieving families, that's 43,000 deaths too many. But, although we surely could reduce auto fatalities if we chose to make it our top national priority, the Bush administration has yet to announce a "War on Highway Deaths."

After 9/11, the Republican line was that all future terror attacks on U.S. soil must be prevented at any cost. That's the line Giuliani was parroting this week, but its effectiveness hinges on our collective willingness to let fear swamp our capacity to reason.

Contrast the Republican response to 9/11 with the Republican response to the Virginia Tech massacre. After the shootings, when many commentators suggested that we might consider tighter gun control regulations, most GOP leaders were outraged: The right to bear arms is sacred! The massacre didn't occur because guns are easy to obtain but because the shooter was mentally disturbed, and if he hadn't had access to guns, he'd have found some other way to kill people! No legislation can completely protect us against maniacs!

and this:

A survey by Alpha magazine revealed that three American hedge-fund managers earned more than $1 billion last year.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Iraq burns. More than 3,100 Americans have died there, the equivalent of 100 Virginia Techs. Nearly 25,000 have been wounded in action, many of them gravely. And that's nothing compared to the number of Iraqis who have been killed as the country has slid into civil war. Fatalities among the civilian population are running about 3,000 a month. The Brookings Institution's latest Iraq survey carried one statistic that froze my blood: According to a recent poll, one in four Iraqis has personally experienced or witnessed the murder of a family member as a result of violence since the U.S.-led invasion. Dow 13,000, meet Iraq 13,000. That's approximately the number of Iraqis killed so far this year.

I, who hates the idea of control or being controlled in any way, shape or form learned something this weekend. I was controlled. We are being controlled, not by fear, but by anger, by frustration. How can we not be? We are bombarded with finger pointing, self righteous, fear mongering right.

I say let the right trade their lives and their freedom for fear. Let them be afraid, let them think like it's the Cuban missile crisis all over again and build bunkers in their back yards.

I will not. I will continue my work. I will see injustice, stupidity and corruption and show it. I will not give up on the human race. I will not give up on hope. I will, once again see beauty. I have already picked up a paint brush.

I see us as being at the fork in the road. One way, leads to fear of attacks and fear of terrorists. The other, leads to reality. We are not safe. We are not above all else. We just refuse to stop living because of it.

Which road would you chose?